Mental Health

Especially in the black community, is something we rarely discuss, but over the past year, I have learned that it is actually important and should not be disregarded.

Recently, there have been reports of innocent people's lives taken away by seemingly random shootings targeted at people while doing everyday activities, such as going to school, going to the mall, going to watch a movie. Unfortunately, the news bombards us with stories about the gunmen giving them false and undeserved fame. I think the news should focus on the lives go those we lost.

However, in this post, I am going to be talking about mental health- and mostly about someone I knew.

About a year and half ago, through Facebook, I was able to "catch up" with a girl I went to middle school with. She was our friend, our playmate. Although we have all grown up and taken different paths, hers scared me a bit.

She constantly had Facebook status talking about the illuminati, freemasonry and the like. She constantly questioned authority and the "white man's system". She talked of finding spirituality and becoming Rastafarian. She talked fondly of her 'leader'--a regular man--who guided her into the right path. She talked of loving her then few months old daughter and wanting to get rid of her muddied past and start fresh. She also spoke of homeschooling her child and being wary of vaccinations because of the potential harm they could cause.

Being myself, I often questioned her statuses and argued with her. I am very opinionated and I rarely back down when given the chance to make a point. So I did. And I did so very often. It got to a point that she started making statuses about me and how I was trying to derail her. At another point, her 'leader' even joined and told me to back off and said that I needed to rejoin the 'Black Family'.

Back then, I blew it off as that she was "crazy" and was "miseducated", but I never doubted that she was clinically sane or that she loved her daughter. Back then, I 'knew' that in time, she would be back to 'normal'.

Subsequently, she deleted me off Facebook and I hadn't heard from her since.

Fast forward to January 1st, 2013, a few hours after landing back in Toronto after my trip to Nigeria, I was watching the news and was taken aback by a photo of a young lady and her daughter and underneath, the caption stated something like "woman arrested, charged with second degree murder of her daughter".

Then another, more clear photo was shown, then her name. And it was then that I had flashbacks of many Facebook arguments as well as many middle school laughs. I was slightly confused. It couldn't be true. This could not be the same girl. As quickly as the flashbacks came, I googled her name, and I visited Facebook pages of old friends--then I knew, it was true. It really was her.

She allegedly killed her daughter who would have been 3 years old in March 2013.

This is not the kind of thing a normal person does. There has to be some kind of explanation. Brief psychotic episode? Previously diagnosed Schizophrenia? It had to be something, right? Right?

There has been a publication ban on her psychiatric evaluation and there hasn't been much else said about this case in the news.

This brings me to the point of my post. Do we, especially in the black community, too quickly disregard mental illness? Did she, a year and half ago and possibly before, show signs of impending doom if she didn't receive help? Was she receiving help? Did she even need help?

For the past 10 days, I have been thinking, if I had known then, what I know now, would I have tried harder to get her some help? I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what and I certainly didn't know how serious.

I really think we need to start recognizing signs of mental illness and start getting people the help they need and deserve.

I cannot say for sure that this girl did or does have a mental illness, and I am most definitely not excusing her alleged act but I am however pleading with you, my readers, to learn more, know more.

Thank you.

RIP E. SW
RIP to the many many victims of senseless crimes.

BoomStarzMD

Almost Done

Sigh. Med 3 that is.

This semester has been quite a roller coaster. It literally IS the hump of the ride. It's in the middle, so far the most challenging and filled with the most drama, but thankfully, it is almost over.

On Tuesday I have the NBME shelf exam for Neuroscience and Wednesday I have a small quiz also for Neuroscience- this quiz is generally for those who need a last chance to bring them to a passing mark or those who have a 79 or 89 to make it to 80 or 90, respectively.

I am soooooo tired of studying and this 1 month break from school will be so worth it. I really need the time to regroup. You always want to stay focused because you know what your goal is and you know what you need to do to get there, but the stresses of Basic Sciences are quite something.

What sucks more is that you are away from familiar surroundings and people and because we've all just met each other here, makes it even harder. Each day you learn more and more about the people you spend time with and it isn't always positive things, but it seems like you just have to suck it up because you're here alone.

It's hard to be picky when you don't have much choice.

Anyway, I plan to make the most of my time this holiday break. I am planning to study 2 hours each day or at least 1 hour and these will consist mainly of Kaplan videos. I want to start reviewing what we've learned since January of this year just to keep it fresh in my mind. I also want to be able to preview some of the material for Med 4-- Pharmacology and Pathology I. We also have Physical Diagnosis (PD) but I'm not so much worried about that.

I'll be spending some of my holiday in Nigeria and hopefully volunteering at one of the most known general hospitals. I want to use this as a learning opportunity. I know I'll be able to see cases that won't necessarily show up in North America but have had to learn so I am super excited for that.

I'll also be spending a day or two with a plastic surgeon!!!! She does mostly reconstructive breast surgery and facial surgeries and I am so so so thankful to have this opportunity.

Anyways, guys, I gotta get back to studying for Neuro.

Until next time,

BoomStarzMD

Third Block

Wow, what a block.

Basically we learned.... A  LOT... I mean just incredible the amount of information.

Neuroscience: All the cranial nerves, the thalamus, the limbic system, the reticular formation. For each of these, we have to know the routes they take in the brain and brain stem, the normal function of each part in each system, and the manifestations when there is damage to that area.

Microbiology: We learned probably 50 bacterias, they way they infect, their reservoirs, what body part(s) they infect and their symptoms, as well as their diagnostic criteria-- i.e. what you would see if you did a culture, what medium you would need and sometimes, what antibiotic is useful.

Medical Psychology: I loved this block. We learned about personality disorders, conduct disorders, operant conditioning, and disorders such as anxiety, phobia, panic, OCD, depression, bulimia, anorexia. Very eye opening.

Ethics: Just more of the same stuff.

I wish I had more to say, but that's all I can come up with. Perhaps I'll make posts in between blocks to talk about other things.


BoomStarzMD

3.2

So we just finished block 2.

This block we focused on:

Neuroscience: Injuries to the spinal cord, cerebrum and cerebellum such as strokes, Multiple Sclerosis, Deafness, Paralysis. This was by far the course I enjoyed most this block because I got to learn why and how patients develop these diseases and conditions. Those people on wheelchairs, those people who had a car accident and can no longer speak, I know how that's happening.

Immunology: We learned a lot of things. This course is extremely boring. Knowing how to identify certain diseases is quite interesting but learning which protein, gene, molecule is defective or missing is a bore!

Medical Psychology: Here we focused on childhood development, Human sexuality + disorders, Learning disabilities and mental retardation as well as depression, bipolar spectrum disorders, autism, etc. It was eye opening to see the criteria that the DSM-IV uses to diagnose these people.

Ethics: More of the same stuff lol. Ethics is just ethics, it seems unimportant but I can actually see how it would be useful.

Block Exams...they were the most challenging exams I've had to date. WOW WOW WOW. I was stunned. You had to think critically, more than one would have expected. Most people didn't do that well, but I must say I am thankful for my grades. I have no one to thank but God. So grateful, I owe it all to him.

Socially, there's not much happening. You gradually learn how to "have fun" but it never quite equates to being home with your family and going out with your "normal" friends.

All in all this was a great block and as stressful as it was, I look forward to the next block.

Thanks for reading,
Until next time,

BoomStarzMD

Round 3

7:49am, Tuesday, third week of Med 3 (semester 3) and all I can think about is how I can't wait for Med 4, when we get our first real patient contact.

This semester, my courses are Neuroscience, Microbiology/Immunology, Medical Psychology, and Ethics.

So far, I'm really enjoying Neuroscience and Med Psych. In just two weeks, I've learned how to read MRIs and CT scans, how certain nerve related diseases manifest, how nervous system related cancers differ in adults and children--and that's just the tip of it. In Med Psych, we mainly focused on substance abuse this block, from marijuana to ecstasy to opiates to cocaine.

It's true what they say, "cocaine is a helluva drug", "crack is whack", "there's no hope in dope!"

We had to watch a documentary called "Crackheads Gone Wild", and true to the title, they were wild. It was insane. If a "normal", sober person did the things the people in the movie did, there's a good chance, I would have laughed, but while watching this movie, I was heartbroken. How can a human being do this to their body, their mind, their life?

Unfortunately, some drugs are extremely addicting and even the withdrawal symptoms are so bad that you'd even want to provide the drug to the addict. So, in terms of drugs, prevention is ideal. Don't start it. Just don't.

Opiates like heroin, and morphine, or Vicodin are also very addicting, especially heroin. Your body builds up tolerance so fast that you'll need a higher dose to get high each new week.

Ethics is a...boring class, but I can definitely see the importance of it. As physicians, we need to learn how to talk to others with respect, compassion and authority. So although, I sometimes find the class to be a waste of study time, I'm learning to be patient so I can learn, but also, so I decrease my chances of getting sued in the future. LOL.

I'm feeling good that I managed to post two entries back to back, with just a few hours (or 12) in between.

Until next time,

BoomStarzMD

Catching Up...

No no, I don't mean in school. You never want to put yourself in a position where you have to catch up, because that is disaster!

I mean, catching you up on my life, school, etc. I was unmotivated to write any entries during Med 2, but let me fill you in.

Med 2 courses are Physiology, Biochemistry, Epidemiology and Genetics. I went in thinking I would absolutely love Physiology, but it was slightly subpar for me. I didn't enjoy the way it was taught but it is actually one of the more important courses in Basic Science and plenty of it will show up in USMLE Step 1.

Biochemistry, I went in thinking I wouldn't care for but I loved it! I feel like I learned so much from that course--from the way our bodies break down nutrients, to the way congenital blood illnesses manifest. It wasn't at all like organic chemistry. I feel like every single thing I learned in this course was important and will be useful in clinical practice.

Epidemiology and Genetics were small courses and they were alright. It's hard to do bad in these courses. They were easy and not very interesting.

OK, more about social life. My birthday is June 19 so it was in the middle of the second semester. It really sucks not spending your birthday with the people you actually care about and the people who you know care about you. Being away in a foreign land with new people on your birthday isn't the best way to spend it--at least not for me.

I felt really lonely and became extremely homesick. I also got to RELEARN that nobody really cares about you. I feel like the prior 5 months, the people that are "close" to me, I did my best to make their birthdays special, and when it came to mine, it was depressing. I certainly didn't do those things to get something back, but it put things in perspective. Regardless, next year, I'll probably still do the same things for the same people.

I'm my own person and I don't let someone else's actions affect mine. I'll do what I feel comfortable doing.

I don't want to make this post too long, so I'll stop here. Next post will be about the first two weeks in Med 3.


BoomStarz, MD

T + 1 week

Hello blogosphere.

Yes I have been gone for far too long. It's hard to stay motivated to keep writing if there aren't an appropriate amount of written responses. But I guess I should keep in mind that my primary reason for starting this blog isn't for comments but more as a way for me to keep track of this journey.

I am currently 1 week post first semester. Med 1 was great. I studied well and it proved worthwhile. I also learned a lot and I am absolutely looking forward to the second semester. This time we'll be taking Biochemistry, Physiology, Genetics and Epidemiology.

I hope the semester goes just as well or even better for me.

I will try to make at least one blog post per block- as a summary for each block. I hope I can do it.


BoomStarz MD

One Week Down

....14 weeks to go.

In Med 1 anyway. The first week was quite enlightening. There is so much information, that thinking about it only has me looking like this o_O

Conceptually, the material is not difficult. It is understandable and actually very interesting. However, there is so much! Undergrad courses never went into this much detail! 

I think I've studied more these past five days than I have in a WHOLE semester in undergrad. I'm enjoying it though so that's good and hopefully that'll keep me going. 

I have a schedule for my Mondays to Fridays.

Sleep from 10pm-5am

Shower and breakfast from 5am-6am

Review today's lecture from 6am-7am

Travel to school from 7am-8am

Classes from 8am-3:30pm

Travel home and eat from 3:30pm-5pm

Study today's lectures from 5pm-9pm

Play online from 9pm-10pm

So far, it's worked for the first week and it is keeping me on top of my lectures. I've sort of conquered the brachial plexus, which is what was supposed to be difficult for everyone. I can now map it and remember what nerves come out of each root, trunk and cord. I'm now working on mastering exactly which muscles they each innervate.

Anyway, I just came here for a quick update on my journey.

Until next time,

BoomStarzMD

Screaming Nocturnal Donkeys

Right now, I'm half way through my second day of classes.

Two days ago was orientation where we took a tour of the school with a few mentors and asked for tips and tricks on how to do well in this program. We met the dean, some professors and also other staff that we can go to for resources as the semesters go by. We also got free lunch (never going to happen again).


Yesterday was the first day of class. I woke up bright and early, super excited to get started. I had been waiting for the day for a long time. I got to class early so I was able to pick a seat that was great for me. Second row centre. I've never been a first row person because I always want the professor to be able to see me and on the first row, there's a chance of being missed by the professor because s/he is trying to make eye contact with the majority of the class that's behind you. In the second row, I'm sitting close enough to be seen and "far" enough not to be missed.

This semester I have: Embryology, Evidence Based Medicine (EBM), Histology and Anatomy. I have Histology and Anatomy every single day (M-F) and Embryology (M, W, F) and EMB (Tu, Th).

Our first classed was canceled and instead the professor gave us some more tips and tricks for surviving and being successful in medical school. The class was canceled because there might be a curriculum change. They are considering combining EBM with Epidemiology (which is normally offered in Med 2) and creating one new class. This change will mean they can spread Physical Diagnosis throughout the 5 semesters here on this island instead of just making it one class for Med 4. We'll know by tomorrow if this change has been approved. I really hope it is. I think EBM and Epidemiology are related and can be combined and I'd also like to do some physical diagnosis now.

Histology was okay, a bit boring though. We talked mostly about different types of microscopes needed in the study of cells. Today's class was a lot faster paced. Still boring though. There are many little details that we need to learn. I have a feeling this will be the class I'll have to work a bit more on.

Anatomy wasn't too bad. Yesterday’s lecture was mainly terminology and today’s lecture is happening in 2 hours but my review of it wasn’t so bad. It was anatomy of the shoulder and all the bones and muscles I have already learned about. This time around, I just have to really learn it and apply it well. The nerves and arteries are new to me, but they don’t seem too bad.
Bottom line? So far, so good…but it is still just day 2 ha ha.

Referring back to my title, apparently the donkeys on this island are nocturnal, meaning they are asleep when we are awake (daytime) and they are awake when we are asleep (night time) and during this time, they scream! Yes, I am on Nevis.


Until next time,

BoomStarz, MD

Greetings From Nevis

So I'm finally here. Got here December 23rd. Took a 4 hour flight from Toronto to St. Kitts and hopped on a 45 min ferry to get to Nevis. The Air Canada flight I took was the first direct flight from Canada to come to St. Kitts so we were met by dancers and drumming and small packaged treats. It made me feel real special.

My apartment is nice. Bigger than I expected which is always a good thing. At the front I'm looking at the sea and at the back I'm looking at what I believe is Mount Nevis. It is soooo quiet here especially since its the holidays. Most people are spending time with their families. This is a great atmosphere for studying but I'm not sure how much fun one can have here.

Guys, Internet is soooo necessary. My landlord doesn't know much about it and was of no help. I figured out myself that the place had Internet and it wasn't till Christmas afternoon that I set it up and the evening that I set up the WiFi. Again, Internet is so necessary. I felt lost and alone and disconnected. How does one cope without Internet? Am I addicted? Maybe. But it's an addiction I'm willing to live with!

So I think there are only a couple other new students here right now. The rest will be joining us in the next few days. It'll be nice to get to know some faces before class starts. Orientation is on January 2nd and classes begin on the 3rd for everyone. I'm still excited and I still can't wait to start.

Until next time,

BoomStarzMD

7 days

Sorry for not posting for a while. When I make a post, I always want it to have some sort of meaning and I haven't had any ideas for posts since.

Anyway, as the title suggests, I have just 7 days left in Toronto. In 7 days, I leave for Nevis to start my journey.

I am super nervous but definitely ready to get this thing started. I know and understand that I'm going to be facing a lot of work but for whatever reason, I am craving that right now.

For those who don't know, I'll be on the island for a total of 20 months doing basic sciences and after that I'll travel to the states to do clinicals for two years.

In the 20 months on the island, I will have spent 5 semesters learning the theoretical bulk of information necessary for medicine. Each semester is 4 months and there is about a 2 week break at the end. Hopefully those two weeks will be enough to wind down and relax from the previous semester. We are going to be having exams (blocks) every three weeks so there is really no time to slack off. You always have to be on your A-game. I'm looking forward to this method because I think it can be really helpful. Exams may be annoying but it'll mean you're forcing yourself to study.

In my last week here, I'm running around getting some last things I need, saying goodbye to friends, and anticipating a promising future.

I'll hopefully be updating my blog once a week while I'm there. I won't know what my exact posting schedule will be till I start but I'll do my best to update.

I'm hoping this blog will be an outlet for me and also a way to track my journey so in the future when I want to remember something, I will hopefully have documented the event here.

Anyway guys, unless something incredible (more than normal) happens before I leave, I probably won't update this blog till I'm on the island.

Until next time,

BoomStarz, MD

brain flu

In the black community, mental health issues are often and regrettably regarded as nonexistent. We tend to dismiss odd behaviours and ignore obvious signs of a bigger issue.

"Oh, he just gets moody when the season changes"

"Remember how rude she used to be? someone probably did voodoo to her"

"Oh dad you're so funny, you're playing that pretend game again. It's me, your daughter. Why do you like pretending you don't remember?"

Sadly, these are some of the comments we make when our family members and friends are behaving--for lack of a better word--oddly. Deep down, we probably know these behaviours are not just random states but rather, clear traits.

I know so many people that need to see a professional about their behaviours but the word therapist seems to be taboo in the black community. We need to reconsider and update our ideas of what a therapist is and what a therapist does.

I mean, we see our general practitioners to get yearly check ups but we leave our brain alone and assume it's just fine. When we get the flu, we go in to see the doctor, but what about when our brain gets the "flu"? We can't just assume it'll get better eventually. We need to get it checked out.

Besides, therapists are great people to talk to. You can open up to them and be assured that it'll be kept confidential. What more can you ask for?

I've never been to a therapist because I don't currently need one and have never felt that I needed one but it's not something that I say I'll never need or want. There's a chance I could see a marriage counsellor before I get married, because I'm hoping s/he can help me ensure I have a successful marriage for example.

Anyway, just thought I'd come on here to share that. If you know anyone in your life that just might need a professional look at their brain, make it a suggestion...or maybe suggest they read my blog.

Until next time,

BoomStarz, MD

will work for food

Hi guys,

So I've been looking for a temporary job since I've been out of school in April. It's the middle of September and I have found nothing. It sucks. Big time.

I've been to a few interviews and they've been okay but I haven't been called back and I'm starting to wonder why. I've always thought I had a great personality and that my work ethic was strong and would show through in any interview but I guess being late to each and every one of them didn't help.

It's not like I purposely get to these places late; I try to get there on time but guys, universal forces are against me. I don't think I'm meant to work-- but frankly, I'm getting tired of waking up each day with no where to go.

However, I went for an interview this past Monday and I think I got the job. I mean, they told me to come start training in a few days--that's a good sign right? meh... the job sucks. I'll be outside all day, with Canada's unpredictable weather. The pay is moderate and the hours are good, but the actual job sucks! No worries though, I'll still go for the training and see how I like it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed- maybe I'll actually hate the job so much I'll never want to work again like the job.

I'm still applying for jobs and keeping faith that something great will come along.

Until next time,


BoomStarz, MD

if you gotta go; if the spotlight makes you nervous

things have been so crazy and hectic...
I should have gotten back by now...
but you know how much I wanted to make it...
...I was only trying to get ahead
but the spotlight makes you nervous
and you're looking for a purpose 
----Drake


Hey guys,

So for whatever reason I decided to browse through Facebook and check the pages of childhood friends. I had found out one of them is moving back to his home country and my chest felt heavy, really heavy. We're not very close...in fact, we have only said a few words to each other in the past four years, but I still felt something. I may never get to see him again.

So as I went through different pages, I began to realize something. I am growing up. I am a grown up that is still growing up and guys, I got scared. Really scared!

I've always wanted to travel the world; to be free somehow but life hasn't given me that luxury. Now that I'm four months away from starting medical school, I'm worrying that this is my last chance. To travel. That is, to travel as a single woman. I'm hoping by the next time I get this chance, I will either be married or at least be with the person I am going to marry.

sigh... I'm praying for some miracle that will allow me to travel the world... Spain, Italy, France, Morroco, Cape Verde, South Africa...

I'm hoping I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll get a phone call saying someone wants to give me enough money to travel to countries of my choice and the chance to bring a friend along.

**Fingers crossed**

BoomStarz, MD

Feeling Better- Update

Two posts in one day.

Just thought I'd update the blogosphere that I'm already back in my usual mood. I feel great. I think I was just way too idle so I gave room to petty issues earlier but I'm back to realizing little things don't matter.

I'm not even sure if anyone is reading this, but I'm glad I have a place to spill my feelings.

I can't wait till January to become a student at MUA studying what I've wanted to study for the longest time, medicine.

Thanks for reading,

BoomStarz, MD

Sometimes you're the statue; Sometimes you're the pigeon

I really meant to start this blog in January 2012, but I'm feeling quite down today so I figure I'll make a post. It helps to be doing something rather than being alone with your thoughts. Negative thoughts. Thoughts that make you long for a brighter day. It's raining real hard in my mind right now and when it rains, it pours! I'm glad I'll be leaving for school in the next few months, but I keep looking for something tangible to hold on to now.


I feel super LONELY right now and it sucks!

Nothing to worry about though, I know I'll bounce back but I can't help but feel sorry for myself. I feel helpless, useless, and unwanted. Now-- I know if I needed anything, I have at least a handful of people I can call to give me a boost, but because I'm human, it still never feels enough.

I think I'm a bit nervous for medical school. It's such a huge responsibility and really, after that, my adult life truly begins. It's a bit hard to swallow but I know I'll be fine. I'm always fine. Just staying calm through the turbulence of journey is what I need to deal with.

Loneliness.

BoomStarz, MD

...so it begins

I got in!!!!!!


I'm going to be a doctor!


Took me a while to actually be able to say it out loud (OK, 5 hours) but I'm saying it now and I don't think I'll stop till I earn that "comma M.D." after my name.

More later,

BoomStarz, MD